Awakening through Meditation

Awakening Experience – Consciousness, Meditation, Intuition

—Doreen Connors – An Account of Awakening—
Return to Doreen’s Interview on her— Personal Awakening Experiences.

My awakening, “in earnest”, began in the summer of 2005. (I say, in earnest, because reflecting back, We See how all of the life experience contributes to awakening.) So, in 2005, I was compelled to find a person, again… We had an encounter briefly in 1981, for 8 days only. It is important to know, that I fled from this person in fear. The feeling I had at that time was: “I hope I never see this person again…’good riddens!’

Experiences in Awakening

It is a complex story to tell, but suffice it to say… in 2005, the awakening manifested suddenly, with several months of euphoria… likened to energy streams that I have heard other people describe! What occurred was a re-connection with this person through telepathy, empathy, synchronicity…much more than I can define. He lives in Sweden. I live in Massachusetts. Over 3000+ miles between us, and yet we experienced this INTENSE energy simultaneously!

Lucid dreams, life review episodes, synchronicities…proceeded the awakening. EVERYONE, except one person and my kids, thought I was crazy… in a sense, many still do!! HA!

After the Pre-connection phase, I discovered his mailing address via intuition and synchronicity and the computer. I mailed him a brief letter, asking him: if he remembered me to send me an email. It took about 2 days for the letter to arrive to him (the first letter in a series of 27 choices I intended, were he not the right person). We wrote to each other through emails… this initiated even greater awakening, which continued from this point on, for several months(and years)… I was living my life situation, at home with my 2 kids and husband, In an altered state. Something that my husband and friends could not comprehend. Much confusion and pain got kicked up during this time period. There still exists, much misunderstanding on the part of these folks, except for my kids.

There existed a force that compelled me to do this, unlike anything I had ever known… to re-connect with this person, in a profoundly life-altering way. We became teachers to each other. Helping each other in ways that were impossible to realize at the time it was occurring.

The Beauty I have Seen through this connection is immense. In conjunction with first reading “The Diamond in Your Pocket” by Gangaji in August 2005, I was catapulted In To my LIFE! I Learned of ET through reading the forward of this GEM of a book!! But I wish to emphasize that my(our) awakening began without any knowledge of Eckhart’s teaching. The teaching in combination with our connection brought understanding to the Awakening. The Transformation of Consciousness.

Where shall I begin… within this experience there is paradox… The experience is highly personal, and WITHIN THAT, through the awakening…I have come to know that there is NOTHING “personal” in LIFE ITSELF! Life=Love=Who WE ALL ARE.

Continue by Returning to Interview with Doreen Connors, Page Three

Waiting for an Answer – A Non-Doing Meditation Practice

—An Interview with Doreen Connors, Part Three—
>>> Part One: Transcendental Meditation – TM – Mantras – Mystical Experiences

Meditation How: So what I think I am hearing from you is that although it is difficult to convey you would like to try and share it… am I getting this right? If you need help in finding a starting point, then I suggest you start with the nature of your resistance.

Doreen: I have decided to forward You some writing I did last fall. Let me preface this by saying that many changes have occurred since I first wrote this. I feel it necessary, now, to edit the piece to reflect these “changes.”

Meditation How: I want to give voice to the part in me that is trying to hold the interview together in some manageable form, structured in an accessible way, and at the same time I want you to feel free to give sufficient clarity to this.

I AM getting the clarity that revisiting this by writing NOW what you feel serves us both better than to forward previous writings. Here is an attachment of Doreen’s Previous Writings on her Awakening Experience.

You mentioned a resistance and I find it interesting that rather than simply write extemporaneously, you would offer past writing instead. I hope you understand what I am getting at. In this moment you can distill and clarify all of these things for me (and yourself). Can we do that instead? If we go back to a response of a few sentences ago this will liley bring in both a bit of containment and focus.

Assuming you are okay with this I would like for you to answer the question I posed about non-doing and external forces a while back. I can repeat it if necessary.

I asked two “questions”, one about the upheaval (which I want to get to) and here is the other one: “I am wondering about external circumstantial pressures whether societal or through relationship and how “non-doing” or “being” was reached in such a non-deliberate manner.”

Doreen: In waiting for an answer to come for this question…this image comes up: I’m looking in the mirrors and seeing the image, one after the other, into infinity. I feel it is a good question that I cannot answer. The only “deliberate” practice that provided a focus was the listening to Eckhart Tolle. I have come to understand that nothing we do in our lives is deliberate, intentional, with choice, etc. So, in a way, I can’t say that I ever did anything deliberately.

Waiting for an Answer - A Non-Doing Meditation Practice

The listening to Eckhart Tolle, in essence, was my meditation practice, though not the catalyst for awakening. I followed what felt good, during this time period. If stressful situations arose in my life situation, I could retreat to listening to his voice. I became aware that the “knowing” was already in my heart, in a sense, getting firmly planted in my heart.

There is most definitely paradox in talking about it. I cannot define this “process” in a way that the mind can grasp. Some words are better than others. The mystery of “why” this happened to me… is still there. One thing led to another, from the time I was born—same for everyone.

Meditation How: I found this very clear— great response and accessible as is. Thank you. I would like to ask you now to tell me why you used the word “upheaval” and tell me what it felt like emotionally and on a feeling level. You needn’t go into the external circumstances. I want to hear about emotions and sensations in your body.

>>> Part Four: Spiritual Growth – Inner Light – Awakening Consequences – Healing

Transcendental Meditation – TM – Mantras – Mystical Experiences

—An Interview with Doreen Connors, Part One—

In this five part meditation testimonial Doreen Connors shares her understanding and experiences with Transcendental Meditation, Mantras, Awakening, Non-Doing, Surrender, Paradox, Eckhart Tolle, Waiting for Answers, , Spiritual Growth, Inner Light, Consequences to Spiritual Awakenings, , Shining Light, Patience, and Compassion.

Meditation How: What do you consider to be your most effective type of meditation?

Doreen: Random knitting while in nature; taking time to truly look at trees, birds, insects, sky… and getting lost in it. Ok, that is the simple answer… do You want the long version, too? That might get ‘complicated’…because the form is always changing, in my meditation.

Meditation How: Let’s get complicated. Is it always your knitting?

Doreen: No. I feel that I have to go “back to the beginning” to explain. I had a very brief stint with formal meditation at age 16, via Transcendental Meditation. I never forgot “my” mantra. A few years ago (in 2004) I resurrected it…just for fun. This precipitated a radical turning point in my awakening experience…which led me to: Listening to Eckhart Tolle on CDs, on a daily basis, until relatively recently.

Meditation How: It was the TM mantra that triggered this awakening experience?

Doreen: Well, connected to it!! I playfully used the mantra to meditate during this time period. I was inspired to meditate by something that a friend told me that she was doing. These meditation sessions included: lighting a candle and being near a fresh flower or plant. I felt like: “Why not?!!” It is important to understand how very lighthearted I felt about the entire process.

Transcendental Meditation- Mantras, Experiences in Awakening

It was as if I was “being called” by a force within me to awaken. Primary to this experience, as I began these sessions, instead of meditating I “had to” sleep… a very drugged-like-feeling, induced napping! And during these napping “meditations”… I experienced a few lucid dreams. Dreams which contained powerful images…and apparent messages.

Over the years, if ever I found myself in a situation to meditate, I automatically “used” my mantra. I could easily get in to a deep meditative state… trance-like, I suppose. For example, I took Yoga classes briefly, at one point, and whenever we would meditate at the end of a session… I thought of the mantra.

Meditation How: I’m not sure I understand much about mantras. For myself, I have felt empowered when using a few words to remind me of a powerful perspective. Would it be okay for me to ask about the nature of your mantra?

Doreen: I tell You, I know nothing about mantras. The whole experience, with the mantra, “I think” is because I never “believed” in it/them…though, I knew that the experiences I had, when using it, were deep, indeed!! When one is initiated in TM, one is told never to reveal the actual mantra. And one is told that one’s mantra has been carefully selected specifically for oneself. In retrospect, I can see that this mystical experience (at a young age)… along with the scientific “proof” that was presented during the TM classes was an important ‘experience,’ for me.

Also, I participated in a group meditation, at that time, that I shall never forget! I sensed that the energy of everyone there contributed to the depth of connection I felt, and yet it would take years before I understood, so to speak, that experience. It remained in my heart. So, with all this said. And some research I did, a few years ago, about the “un-truth” of the mantra… I am willing to reveal my mantra. IMA (i-mah) I have not used it since 2004. I seems like it was a vehicle that re-hearted the body or heart-space of this peaceful state. I have never had an expectation of something I was attempting to achieve— Love-ly…when intuition is allowed to be.

Meditation How: I started this interview with a question about what form of meditation do you find most effective. What I get from your last response is that you have no real expectation for achievement. Would you say you are eager to routinely do anything because of how it brings you into contact with your divinity– or a state of blissfulness?

Doreen: No. Non-routinely I knit/create art pieces. And spend time sitting outside, or looking out the window. I feel the contact with this divine state most of the time in the background of all my endeavors. So…I have to say, that I “channel” the energy of bliss into my artwork.

Continue with Part Two:
Non-Doing – Doing Nothing – Thinking Process – Surrender – Paradox

Meditation Practice – Sitting, Healing, Awakening, Nature

—An Interview with Benjamin Dean, Part Two—
>>> Part One: First Meditation – Meditation Experience (Self, Identification)

Meditation How: Do you see other folks unfolding in to this remembering now, and what if any is our role in assisting this “awakening”?

Benjamin: Life is so subjective that is very difficult to know what is going on with others. We have language for this and still it’s difficult. I have to reflect upon my days in theatre to answer this first one. As a dramatist if you want to reveal character to the audience you stick them in a rough situation. If you want to reveal their moral fiber for instance you make it really easy for them to get away with something and watch them struggle (or not).

Circumstances reveal character far better than chatting with them, just as modeling is the preferred way of teaching (which I believe answers your second question). If we can get excited about our own waking up to the joy in life then it will naturally excite others. There is an episode in one of the Castaneda books where Don Juan is telling Carlos a story about a father and his son. The son is so absolutely entitled and a bully of sorts. Don Juan recommends that the father hire someone to scare the living daylights out of him—out of nowhere.

His argument for this is that the boy needs to develop more respect for the irrational and unknown. After the boy has been caught off guard and beaten a bit for no reason whatsoever he will paying a little more attention to the unknown and the father can be there to comfort him with guidance. This is healing. I love this story and I have to admit that I am sometimes compelled to throw the occasional wrench though officially I don’t see it as any of my business.

No-one should impose a time-frame for development on any other being or even play God believing they know what anyone needs. One CAN however play Nature and this is how I see it. If I am compelled then this is nature— just as our emotional lives make the law of attraction clear. It is not pre-meditated just meditated. It is not governed by any prevailing idea, only the truth of the moment. Nature is healing.

Meditation How: So, today is there a type of meditation that you practice regularly? And with “yes or no” what has been the effect or benefit of your blossoming in awareness? Also do you believe there truly exists “moral fiber” or “character”?

Benjamin: I started a sitting meditation practice soon after Alan Watts and Mescaline. It remains my preferred approach. I just sit still with legs crossed. I just sit. It has been thirty or so years. Only within the last ten or twelve years has it been significant in terms of healing. Before then it was out of curiosity and the determination to become awakened. I had a breakthrough a couple of years after I started and since then I have just been “cleaning house”.

>>> Part Three: Letting Go of Pain – The Mind (Deep Meditation, Good and Evil)