—My Personal Meditation Story, Part Four—
Go to Part One of— Beginning Meditation – My Meditation Story
• Washing windows can clear everything up, outside and in an inner way.
Each Moment is Deeply New
One cannot have a repeat performance of anything. Life never repeats itself. Life IS cyclic— birth and death— the seasons, etc. Spring comes every year and yet not one is exactly the same. We may enjoy this moment and so try to have another one just like it but it is not in the cards. Because of the attachment we develop we fail to pay attention in the moment.
If we paid more attention to each moment and lived it without expectation we would not make the same mistake over and over again. It is THIS problem that inspires the phrase “history repeats itself”. Life never repeats itself— but human beings certainly try creating many more problems as a consequence.
Haunted by the Joy in Success
I must have leaned against that theater wall ten to twenty more times before it dawned on me that I was trying to recreate the past. What I needed to do was simply approach it in a new and fresh perspective. This seemed impossible as I was haunted by my previous success.
If you want to get to the core of something—an apple, for example—you can do it from anywhere on the surface as long as you are aiming toward its center. I needed to trust that my overall intention to get to the heart of things was going to be enough. I needed to sit and meditate—that’s all.
My previous success had become the obstacle. A series of successful experiences over time informs us on a feeling level of where it is that we are bent on going. Approached from a variety of angles brings a familiarity with the inner landscape. Not knowing this, I was troubled.
Simply Washing the Windows
I started reading more in the hopes that this would trigger something. Honestly, I finally dropped the whole idea and went on with my life. As a student I found employment washing dishes. There was this beautiful Victorian building in the heart of the college theater district that was turned into a Faculty Lounge. This is where I worked in between classes.
One Summer I had been asked to wash the outside windows of this building. It was a hot day and I was sweating and washing windows when BAM! Something hit me hard—something wild and strange. It is hard to describe. I will do my best. Apparently all the effort I was making to meditate suddenly paid off.
Inner, Deeply, Within
With all of the inner focus I had somehow opened up a line of communication for greater awareness. It overcame me like a chill. So many things SUDDENLY made sense. I realized that there was a whole invisible world behind our world— that nothing was as simple as it seemed on the surface.
There was light. There as a great deal of light— and I don’t mean the sunlight although it was a part of it. There was clarity and it all happened instantaneously. One moment I was simply washing windows (what a metaphor) and the next moment some kind of dawning. I got a serious wake up jolt. This happened as a result of having spent so much time focused inward—meditation.
Continue with My Meditation Story, Part Five