Crystals, Gemstones, Color Therapy and Meditation

—My Personal Meditation Story, Part Thirteen—
Go to Part One of— Beginning Meditation – My Meditation Story

Harmonic Convergence, Central Park
It was 1987. We were still living in New York City and I was still meditating. I was also involved in astrology and so in August celebrated the first Harmonic Convergence in Central Park along with 1500 others. I handed out fliers that showed what was actually happening in the sky. We gathered around the John Lennon Memorial and meditated together. It was beautiful.

At this point in time I had begun to get into crystals and gemstones quite heavily. You name the stone and I had found a piece of it. I duct-taped them to my body and walked around like that. I procured a Tibetan style hat and taped them to the inside directly above my Crown Chakra. I found a quartz point from Arkansas that I had to have.

Experimenting with Crystals
www.meditationpyramids.info has a sister site at www.hownatureheals.com. There is a detailed description of my encounter with this quartz point in an article there. In fact, this site features a number of articles on the subject of Crystal and Gemstone Healing. Here is the link to that particular article, which will open in a new window or tab, originally titled Confessions of a Gemstone Junkie.

Meditating with crystals or gemstones is an incredible way to process things. I respond very strongly to these stones and so simply placing it on my head while lying down or taping them to my forehead while sitting up, I meditate and it is amplified by the presence of a stone. Each stone is different, so the material it digs up is always new.

Pyramids and Crystals
It is a great way to move through material that is stuck in the subconscious mind. There are a few stones that will in a way give you a jump start on processing important and deep issues. I believe Malachite is one of these. It will speed up your work on your own issues and draw conflict into your events and circumstances in order for you to do the work.

I enjoyed combining pyramid meditation with crystal and gemstone meditation. The stones would be naturally amplified by the pyramid and the work could be done in energetic isolation. I would burn plenty of sage to keep both the pyramid and stones clean. I am not much of a focuser. I have never made it a practice of forcing any issue. I simply meditate and whatever is lurking will naturally clear.

Crystal Quartz as “Crystal Ball”
I have a friend here in Northern Colorado where I live now who enjoys focused meditation. I have asked him to do an interview about some of these in order to balance things on the site. I generally tend to sit still and clear thoughts. This was not always the case. As this series continues I will make clear my progress from one form of meditation to another up to the present.

There is not much more to be said about crystals. They really do speak for themselves. I did experiment with suspending clear quartz between myself and a candle flame which is a powerful meditation. The crystal ball has its roots in this practice. Images will arise out of stone and it is basically a projection of what is going on within.

Crystal Meditation with Color Therapy
At one point I managed to find some colored filters— transparent film of various colors— and would hold them between myself and the quartz with the candle flame illuminating both. This amounts to a combination of crystal meditation and color therapy— quite powerful. I remember being encouraged by someone at one point in time to be more receptive and as corny as it sounds to “become one” with the color, light and quartz.

Continue with My Personal Meditation Story, Part Fourteen.

How to Construct a Copper Pyramid for Meditation Practice

—Building a Meditation Pyramid, Part Three—
>>> Part One: Easy to Build, Homemade Copper Pyramid for Meditation

Gold, Sage or Crystals
While learning how to construct a pyramid for meditation, I read that purifying the meditation pyramid is also a good idea. I didn’t do this all of the time. The material I read recommended a small piece of gold. I bought a very small gold nugget online that I used by hanging it from the top center. I lost it and did not replace it. I have never felt as if my copper pyramid was ever contaminated on an energetic level with or without the gold. Sage and crystals might work well enough.

One of the two books I recommend below is where I believe I read the material about using gold for purification. It is a great channeled crystal book. There are two volumes in a series. Incidentally, the whole idea of containment that this pyramid offers for healing reminds me of Wilhelm Reich’s work. Reich built solid steel cases for people to sit in. He had some real success healing people with them. He was persecuted for his controversial ideas about healing.

Wilhelm Reich and Orgone Energy
He called the energy that he discovered Orgone Energy—universal organic creative energy. It is this energy residing in the body that apparently when contained electromagnetically allows us to regenerate. This is exactly the feeling I get in sitting meditation under a copper pyramid. I believe that these two methods have this dynamic in common. Much more information about both Wilhelm Reich and his discoveries can be found online.

Meditating under a copper pyramid allows one to reflect with purity on one’s inner and deepest self. This sanctuary allows one to build confidence in one’s inner sense of self. This in turn will make it possible to maintain this clarity without the pyramid and in any situation. We do not want the pyramid to become a crutch. There must be freedom around our meditation practice.

Pyramids Offer Balance and Peace
Meditation under a pyramid was important for me as I was able to build a much needed clarity—a sense of self free from the bombardment of so many energetic influences. This will be the case with anyone with a great degree of sensitivity. History is full of cases of people who had difficulty managing their way through strong psychic abilities.

Pyramids can offer this balance. Pyramids can offer peace and an environment where one can steadily develop an understanding of subtle energies. Take a crystal with you into the pyramid and the energy of the crystal will be magnified. Build a pyramid. Build a copper pyramid and try it for meditation. Let me know how it goes.

>>> Part Four: Copper Pyramids for Meditation – Instructions on Building

*** Check out my new blog dedicated specifically to meditation pyramids, where I have a ten part series of posts (with detailed notes) on how to build a portable copper pyramid for meditation

Constructing a Copper Pyramid for Meditation – How to

—Building a Meditation Pyramid, Part Two—
>>> Part One: Easy to Build, Homemade Copper Pyramid for Meditation

Meditation Pyramids and Self-Discovery
I would meditate in various positions inside the copper pyramid including sitting meditation and found that it felt best when my heart was about two-thirds to three-quarters the way up what would be the vertical line in the center. This is close to where the King’s Chamber lies in the Great Pyramid at Giza. Though seemingly cramped this smaller >meditation pyramid works great as far as this orientation goes.

The meditation experience inside the pyramid for me were calm. It is an amplifier of sorts. It is perfect for self-reflection. It always challenges me to get over myself—get over my ego. One cannot expect to sit or lie down in the pyramid and be free from processing. It seems to promote it.

Simple Experiment – Copper Wire Pyramid
Under the stress of relationship turmoil I have sat in it and become almost immediately aware of the problem. The reason for this is that it offers containment. Without the influence of the thought-forms or energy of others, one quickly and easily is able to see and deal with oneself in isolation. This is such a great value to sensitive types who easily absorb other people’s energy.

To get just a taste of what a copper pyramid feels like—though it is not quite as exact or powerful—try stringing electrical copper wire in a pyramid shape from a center point in your ceiling. Careful measurements will produce the best results.

Constructing a Copper Meditation Pyramid
My measurements were taken from my rubber band model. I simply reproduced the relationships between the length of one baseline and the length of one side. I will now go over the details of how I built what is my favorite pyramid to date. I bought copper tubing at one of the larger home improvement stores—four copper pipes that already come in six foot lengths.

I just checked the price and you can probably get all four for about twenty-five dollars. I believe they were half-inch tubing. I have bought the larger copper tubing in the past—probably one inch. I had to cut these with a pipe cutter as they were something like twelve feet long.

How to Build a Meditation Pyramid
I’m about six feet tall and the six foot sides made a pyramid that worked well enough for me. If you are taller you may have to work with longer pipes. I bought enough electrical copper wiring to use for the base. My next idea was to drill two holes at the very ends of each tube so that I could tie the wires off.

Construct a Copper Pyramid for Meditation

Building a Copper Meditation Pyramid

Be sure and mark the wires to match your dimensions leaving enough to tie in a knot. I pushed the excess from both wires up inside the copper tubing. I drilled another two holes at the other side of the tubing where the top of the pyramid would be. The problem of bringing the four sides together at the top took some time to solve. I approached it a number of different ways.

A Portable Copper Meditation Pyramid
I experimented with both string and wire to tie them all together. The string would break after extended use. Wire worked best. The size of the base is dictated by stretching the wire out taught. This pyramid can be set up in less than a minute. Pull it out of the closet and place each side out enough to make the copper wires taught.

>>> Part Three: How to Construct a Copper Pyramid for Meditation Practice

*** Check out my new blog dedicated specifically to meditation pyramids, where I have a ten part series of posts (with detailed notes) on how to build a portable copper pyramid for meditation

Easy to Build, Homemade Copper Pyramid for Meditation

—Building a Meditation Pyramid, Part One—

Home-Made Copper Meditation Pyramids
A copper pyramid for meditation offers a great sanctuary for sitting practice. The actual shape of the meditation pyramid together with the conductive copper creates a strong electromagnetic shield. Experiencing the difference a pyramid makes allows one to more readily recognize the influence of invasive energy and negative thought-forms.

The first thing I did was read about pyramids. At the time that I made my first pyramid all I could find was a paperback called “Pyramid Power” and it was almost completely useless. I did eventually find this enormous hardcover called something like “Ancient Wisdom”. I pretty much found my own way by experimenting.

Shape and Size Differences
I soon discovered that the mathematical relationship between the various angles and sides changed somewhat if not drastically from pyramid to pyramid. Simply take a look at the difference between the Giza Pyramids and the Nubian Pyramids. Why so different I wondered?

I went on to build a model pyramid for each of these different pyramid shapes and spent some time with them. Even a small pyramid can have quite a profound influence on the energy centers in the body. The Giza seemed to trigger my Heart Chakra whereas the Nubian triggered my Third Eye Chakra.

Constructing a Range of Meditation Pyramids
My curiosity was piqued. Determined to discover more about the importance of the shape, I came up with an interesting way to experience the entire gamut. This is something that is so easy to do at home and well worth it. Take a flat piece of cardboard and draw a perfect square on it approximately four inches to a side.

Take two rubber bands and stable them or tape them so as to create a cross diagonally from corner to corner. At this point you have what a pyramid would look like viewing it from directly above. Then take a paper clip and grab both rubber bands at the center where they cross. Lift the paper clip up slowly and notice the distinct feeling you get from the various shapes.

Note: The cardboard must be thick enough to hold its flat shape, otherwise you will need to anchor it by taping it to a table. Otherwise hold the cardboard down with your hand while pulling up.

How to Build or Construct a Pyramid like Giza
What I found was that the lower shapes set off the lower chakras while the upper pyramids set off the higher ones. Giza is a Heart Chakra pyramid— the center and most important chakra. Still, if you need to work on certain areas then you can build the appropriate pyramid to help you with the process. The dimensions of the Heart Pyramid are much more practical for meditation.

When I was playing with cardboard and rubber bands I could feel my body quiver whenever a new dynamic was reached. I had quite the visceral response. It is fascinating how powerful this shape is. My next compulsion was to understand the importance of the placement of the King’s Chamber. It is a special spot inside the pyramid. This type of copper pyramid, if I could build one the right size, would be the perfect meditation pyramid for sitting under.

>>> Part Two: Constructing a Copper Pyramid for Meditation – How to

*** Check out my new blog dedicated specifically to meditation pyramids, where I have a ten part series of posts (with detailed notes) on how to build a portable copper pyramid for meditation

Meditating with Pyramids – Out of Body Experience

(Learning How to Meditate, Part Twelve)Beginning Meditation – My Meditation Story, Part Twelve

Experimenting with Pyramids
We lived on the border of Brooklyn Heights and Park Slope in Brooklyn just over the Brooklyn Bridge from Manhattan. There were Middle-Eastern Restaurants and Delicatessens across the street. The smell of the spices was incredible. We had lived in a few other spots in and around the city, but this is where we settled for the bulk of the four years we spent in NYC.

In that apartment is where I had what was my first and to this day the most powerful out of body experience. I had rigged a pyramid out of copper wire. I put a hook on the ceiling and pulled wire in four different directions pinning or taping the other ends to the floor. It was my first of many copper pyramids made for meditation.

Crafted after Egypt’s Giza
To this day my preferred form of meditation is under a copper pyramid. I used the measurements of the Great Pyramid of Giza. The geometry is important. My design improved over the years and below is an example of one of my later pyramids. I will explain how to make your own at home for very little cost.

Meditating with Pyramids, Out of Body Experiences

I just moved back to Northern Colorado from Portland, Oregon so I am currently without a pyramid. If you feel like experimenting with pyramid meditation, simply go pick our four copper pipes of equal length from your local home improvement store. The one in the picture above has sides that are about size feet long.

The Fire in the Center
I have had them various lengths. I wanted this one to be portable so I made it smaller. As you can see I barely fit under it. The dynamics under a pyramid are fascinating. The word Pyramid breaks down to “Pyre” which stands for fire and “Mid” for middle—fire in the middle—the fire within.

Copper is a conductor and this together with the pyramid shape acts as both container and protector. The value of the pyramid during meditation is that it acts as a shield to outer electromagnetic energy. As a shield the pyramid protects you from the influence of both random and directed thought-forms.

Pyramid Meditation Event
It is truly amazing. It is great to have a sanctuary like this. There were times when I used copper tubing to form the square base. This however made it difficult to move it around. In my latest pyramid I simply used copper electrical wire for the base. This allowed the pyramid to be put away quickly as it could simply collapse and be placed in a closet.

I was meditating under the pyramid in my Brooklyn apartment. I was carrying a great deal of tension and stress between my third and fourth chakra. I believe the kundalini had worked its way up into this area and was calling out to have the area cleared. I was manipulating it with a wooden skewer—poking around to find the right acupressure point.

Out of Body Experience
I suddenly noticed that I my breathing had changed. I was no longer able to tell that I was breathing. I started to panic but then instead surrendered to it. I figured the body would breathe if it needed to—that it wasn’t something that I had to make sure happened. I don’t know what made me take this risk. It was intuitive.

The result was incredible. I had such are release of emotional energy that was connected to the fear of not breathing. It seemed that I had re-connected somehow with a deeper form of breathing than I had known in a long time. I continued to experiment with holding back any willful influence on my breathing. The next thing I know—I was outside of myself looking at me from the side.

Life Handles the Breathing
I freaked. I jumped. This was not something I had anticipated at all. Of course the jump put me back in my body. To this day I have never experienced anything quite like it. Something happened however that was irreversible. My relationship to my body is different. My breathing is different. Life does more of the breathing for me.

Still in New York City— my next adventure was with Crystals and Gemstones. It was the 80’s and Crystals and Gemstone Healing was suddenly becoming a very big deal. I actually worked in a crystal shop for a few months to pay for a stone that I had fallen in love with. It was a $300 quartz point that stayed with me for many years to come.

Continue with Part Thirteen.

Related Posts: How to Build Your Own Pyramid for Meditation

*** Check out my new blog dedicated specifically to meditation pyramids, where I have a ten part series of posts (with detailed notes) on how to build a portable copper pyramid for meditation

Psychic Awareness, Thinking, and Meditation

—My Personal Meditation Story, Part Eleven—
Go to Part One of— Beginning Meditation – My Meditation Story

Goodbye Complacency
We were only in Pennsylvania for about a year, if that. We moved from there to New York City. You can imagine what a shock that was. I don’t know if you have ever visited NYC, but living there is another story. Talk about developing an antenna, and learning how to ground. It was absolutely necessary. In this city you are surrounded by folks who are totally alive.

On one hand it is very exciting. This city challenges people to be alert and in the present. You go out to lunch to get a sandwich at a deli, and if you are half-baked about it you will go back to work without one. Some people call it pushy. I call it survival skills. These people have had to develop them. This city was like sandpaper to any remaining complacency.

Dodging the Master’s Stick
You might call it “street smarts”. Academia and so called book learning will get you nowhere when it comes to navigating around the energy in this city. I’m sure it is the same for any incredibly large city where the pace and the struggle is strong—Paris, London, Mexico City, Tokyo. If you live in a major city then you are being challenged to stay grounded and alert.

There are a number of famous Zen parables that involve a master and a student where the master is constantly surprising the student by hitting him with a stick. The whole point is to keep the student alert at all times which challenges him to live in the moment. You can’t be thinking about the future or the past while simultaneously struggling to dodge a stick.

A Growing Psychic Awareness
Walking around New York City there was a feeling I might be hit with a stick. After a few years I felt much safer however part of this was due to the fact that I was much more alert and knew how to navigate around potentially negative circumstances. In NYC my antenna grew both in range and capacity. When I speak of this antenna I am speaking of psychic awareness.

Psychic awareness is simply awareness. It can be developed by anyone—anyone willing to pay closer attention to subtle energies. It helps to have a teacher whether it is a man with a stick or a city with a fear factor. This is part of becoming meditative. It is not all about sitting around in lotus position. Meditation is about paying attention every minute of the day.

Reading, Reading and Reading
While in NYC, my girlfriend who was soon to become my wife and the Mother of my children introduced me to a friend of hers that did astrology. To make a long story short, before the year was over I had taught myself astrology and understood a great deal about it. I read a great deal, and I began doing charts. The principles and archetypes of astrology helped me to move deeper into understanding the nature of personalities.

At this time I was reading material on Astrology, Theosophy, Anthroposophy— works by Dane Rudhyar, Annie Besant, and Rudolph Steiner and many other authors of Astrology books. I had a brief encounter with a few Krishnamurti books but did not really embrace them as yet. I was enjoying in particular the Rudhyar material.

Consuming Esoteric Works
Dane Rudhyar’s understanding of the cycles of personal growth within the context of society and culture is something profound. I highly recommend “Culture, Crises and Creativity” of his. His writing style is extremely dense so be prepared to take your time. Steiner’s material is just as profound but almost impossible for me to read. Most of his books are transcribed lectures and it honestly takes him forever to make a point.

This is largely due I am sure to the contrast between his understanding and the general understanding at the time. It is after all the 1930’s and the groundwork was only just being laid for this kind of thinking. Steiner broke away from the Theosophists to form Anthroposophy. His material is particularly esoteric. Last but certainly not least was the Seth material—in particular, Jane Robert’s Seth book entitled “The Nature of Personal Reality”. This is great channeled book.

“The point of power is in the present”
—The Nature of Personal Reality – Seth (Jane Roberts)

Continue with My Meditation Story, Part Twelve

Kundalini and Chakras – Practice, Techniques, Feelings

—My Personal Meditation Story, Part Ten—
Go to Part One of— Beginning Meditation – My Meditation Story

Meditation is Being Present
These articles are about meditation. The word “meditation” often only appears at the top as a title. Meditation is about paying attention to what is going on. I want to call the practice of meditation a journey and yet the place we are actually headed is the present moment. How present are we in this present moment? This is the real question, and this is what meditation will answer.

This is why so many of these articles are dealing with different various techniques used to become more present. Meditation is paying attention to what matters—to what is real. There was a great fog in my life that was made of many things—complacency, fear, denial, and many other things. This series of articles is about the processes I went through (and am still going through) to reach the present.

Our Bodies Are Organisms
Feeling grounded is a fine art. Once I had triggered the Kundalini energy, my first challenge was understandably to deal with the energy of the first chakra. The first chakra is located at the base of the spine. It is the energy center that deals with the primal fact of bodily existence. You are a separate being. You are an organism. How does this make you feel?

Terrified and alone is one feeling that accompanies the first chakra. After all, what is it that keeps us alive? How can we manage it? Are we that different from animals? What will I eat? Food, shelter, and what else? How do I defend myself? Need I defend myself? These are all first chakra questions. There are no answers. The challenge is there and real.

Primal Energy is Our Lives
We want to feel safe. We want to believe that there is something protecting us. What exactly, if anything is protecting us? Well, we are much safer just understanding this fact. If we are in denial of our situation as an organism then we are much more at risk. There is a sense of readiness that comes into play when we allow ourselves to get in touch with these feelings.

They are synonymous with instinct. I know for myself that I was not in this place when Kundalini first started pulsating. I was in denial. I believed that somehow there was something outside me protecting me. I believe it must have been the unconscious internalized material that was programmed into me as a child being dragged to church every Sunday.

The Readiness is All
There is a power in innocence. There is a great power in trust. This is sufficient to a certain extent. A child has an aura of protection around them because innocence is sacred. A great percentage of the population recognizes this and holds them in this regard. However, there are those who do not—who prey on innocence. For this remaining percentage, animal instinct and fierce primal power is what nature has given us.

“If it be now, ’tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.” —Hamlet, William Shakespeare

This remaining percentage can be likened to predatory animals. The fact is that if we were let alone deep in a real jungle we would face dangerous beasts looking for their next meal. Though they have the potential to rise to great heights of humanity, these human beings are lost in the part of them that is still very animal-like.

Do You Practice Howling?
I have encountered a wide range of people and get a very specific feeling when in the proximity of these beings. There is a particular aura that is given off. This is when our first chakra fires up and alerts us to potential danger. Had I lived in the forest I imagine I would have developed a very sharp antenna and sensitivity to these types of threats.

There are many books on chakras, kundalini and similar subjects. In them you are likely to find exercises for releasing energy, clearing chakras, grounding, and becoming more responsive. Most of the work I did on the first chakra involved screaming and howling. I would release anger and pump myself up to be ready for anything. This is not to suggest that I either anticipated or invited this type of conflict into my daily life. I wanted only to be alive— alive and responsive—ready for life.

Continue with My Meditation Story, Part Eleven

Kundalini and Chakras – Tension, Courage, Healing Self

—My Personal Meditation Story, Part Nine—
Go to Part One of— Beginning Meditation – My Meditation Story

Warding Off Negative Energy
The conflict I was feeling while in public only increased. I was working hard to feel grounded in circumstances that involved others but it remained a problem for years. Eventually I began to develop skills both self-taught and learned from others to protect myself and my sensitivity from the ongoing barrage of thought-forms that were being projected by others.

As I am approaching this description of my process of learning through meditation chronologically, I will present these skills as I learned them. Many of these grounding techniques involved visualization. Some of them involved postures and physical gestures. This problem was one of the hardest for me to deal with. I can state quite confidently now that these issues are almost non-existent for me now.

More Bathtub Healing Work
The next real significant break-through for me occurred in Pennsylvania in 1986. I was out of college and graduate school and was living with a girlfriend in Allentown. This also occurred in the bathtub and after having smoked some pot. I was lying in the bath and dealing with tension as I had learned to. I would use self-massage and acupressure to deal with pockets of tension.

I had by now freed much of the tension from my body and yet there were areas that were difficult or impossible to get to. At this time I ventured into territory that I had until now refrained from dealing with, and that was both my genital area and my stomach. It had always felt to me like an area where I could potentially do some damage if I didn’t know what I was pressing on.

Moving Through Deeper Blocks
I remember just deciding to trust that I was going to be okay. I remember thinking that it was more important to process it than to ignore it due to fear. So I began to manipulate my stomach area and poke my fingers deep into where my internal organs were to try to get at this annoying deep tension. Lots of breathing and moaning—even crying accompanied this.

I used the wooden skewers in my genital area very carefully working on tension there. I have to say that after doing this for a while I actually felt quite a bit of pain. It is a very sensitive area and I needed to approach it slowly and gently. I knew that I was holding a great deal of tension there due to repressed desires. Society does not encourage us to express our sexuality and I was through feeling oppressed.

Kundalini on the Rise
The results were incredible. I began to feel so incredibly grounded and relaxed. I was amazed. It was at this time that I first began to study and learn about Kundalini. Kundalini is otherwise known as the serpent-fire and it is the fire of development. The reason it became a focus of study is because by manipulating the areas of my first and second chakras I had in essence stirred this energy up and it was now on the rise.

Kundalini rises. People experience it differently, but common to all is the fact that it begins at the base of the spine and “snakes” upward. The energy is released and then moves upward chakra by chakra clearing out blocks. It will work on each chakra one by one until it has cleared out the block.

Clearing Blocks in Chakras
This can take years and usually does. It will stay to work on each block as long as is necessary. I suppose in those that refuse to work on their blocks, it can stay there indefinitely. It is now thirty years later and I am still working on it. It is presently in my upper chakras (sixth and seventh) which has been an area particularly subtle to process.

I will share more about this energy movement and the way it manifested for me in an upcoming post. I feel fortunate that I had the courage to work on the blocks and tension myself even in areas that felt taboo, sensitive, and potentially harmful. If this inspires you to do similar work please proceed with caution and (necessary disclaimer) at your own risk.

Continue with My Meditation Story, Part Ten

Meditation and Awareness – Self-Realization, Fears

—My Personal Meditation Story, Part Eight—
Go to Part One of— Beginning Meditation – My Meditation Story

Dealing with Strong Fears
Still in my early twenties, I was attending college in downtown Detroit. Being a theatre major, I was walking around campus late at night. Downtown Detroit late at night could be a pretty scary place. Because I was in plays, rehearsal would get out sometimes close to midnight. I could tell that meditating consistently was causing me to be a more perceptive person and I was noticing a great deal.

This had both positive and negative effects. It was great to see so much of what was going on, but on the other hand much of what I saw scared me. I was being challenged to be more relaxed about some of the realities that were present around me. I had a really important realization at this time. I realized that the people I was most afraid of were those that were unafraid.

Fear, Can I Trust Myself?
At first glance this may not seem like such an important dynamic, but when examined it reveals something quite incredible. It was clear to me that if I could manage to be unafraid myself, then others would fear me and so they would leave me alone. All I had to do is discover how to be unafraid. How could I develop such fearlessness?

It soon became clear to me that there is no faking it. You are either afraid or unafraid. It’s not something you can pretend. People are afraid because they want to be safe. Those who appear unafraid look as if they are capable of anything. Are they capable of anything? Maybe they just trust themselves, or maybe they are willing to do anything without concern.

Challenging “Authority”
My heightened perception due to meditating was getting me into trouble. People don’t always like being noticed or “seen through”. It is hard not to perceive. You look at someone and you can see what is going on with them emotionally or perceptually. There are limits of course, and yet my fascination with humanity and my heightened perception was setting people off.

More than this, the more grounded I became, the more challenged I was. Men have a habit of playing the alpha dog game. They need to establish a leader. They need to establish the big dog. I wanted no part of this, but my growing courage and confidence was setting off those men who assumed the alpha dog position. I would be constantly barraged by these challenging signals from men.

Fear, Circumstances and Conflict
My apparent willingness and presence was not something I could easily take out into public. There were challenges to be met. It became clear to me that this is the way bullies got their way. There was no-one to challenge them. Nobody wanted to fight with them, and this is what they banked on. The real challenge for me now was to be willful without being punitive.

How do we manage to navigate our way around in this dimensional world? How do we maintain peace? How do we get along at all? What is it that makes this possible? All of these questions were emerging as a result of this growing awareness and all due to meditation. Clearly this was a problem of empowerment that I had not anticipated. I thought that it was something I could simply practice in privacy. I imagine there are those who live a double life—one at home in greater awareness—another at work or in group setting where they simply blend in.

Solitude versus Marketplace
“Thus Spake Zarathustra” is a book by Friedrich Nietzsche. I think of it now because it deals with this contrast. A man who discovers things for himself wants to immediately share his findings but finds that others are not interested in anything that challenges their day-to-day lives.

“Where solitude endeth, there beginneth the market-place; and where the market-place beginneth, there beginneth also the noise of the great actors, and the buzzing of the poison-flies.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

How do we deal with this contrast? How do we deal with politics? How can we go deeply into meditation and have so much revealed to us and then come face to face with “the world”. How do we reconcile these differences? These were very real and practical problems I now faced, and one of the wonderful benefits (?) of meditation.

Continue with My Meditation Story, Part Nine

Self Massage as Meditation – Release of Tension

—My Personal Meditation Story, Part Seven—
Go to Part One of— Beginning Meditation – My Meditation Story

Gaining Confidence and Courage
Laughing at ourselves is so incredibly healthy— to let go and release tension that is attached to identity. Meditation can free us from so much of this tension. Meditation frees us. We experience freedom and we experience confidence. Real confidence arises out of confiding in self. This is exactly what we do when we meditate—confide in self.

With confidence comes courage. With wisdom comes perspective. Not long after I moved out into my own space, I had a very interesting experience that I would like to share here. I was taking a bath. This building was in downtown Detroit and it was an old brownstone. My apartment was on the fourth floor. The bathtub was one of those old classic claw-foot tubs.

Self-Massage and Tension Release
I was pretty relaxed. I believe I had been jogging so it felt good to just relax in the bath. I was also alone. This was so important. I was able to really just relax without the worry of having to deal with anyone else. Because so much of my body was already really relaxed it became obvious what parts were not. I could actually sense tension in certain areas.

I started massaging certain areas—legs, chest, thighs, stomach—working to relieve the tension. I noticed my breathing change. I noticed that I was working to oxygenate the tension. I noticed that what I was dispelling had images attached. In some cases the source of the tension became obvious as it released. I began to notice that what I was in fact carrying around is “unlived life”.

Persistent Deep Massage
This “unlived life” was basically stress that had accumulated in my body at a specific time. I could draw a relationship between the tension and the experience that had caused it. Of course it was always me. It was something confrontational in most cases where I was unable to be present fully because of fear. It felt so incredible to get rid of it. I felt so empowered.

As time went on, I began to use different methods of massage. I could tell very clearly where the tension was, but at times I could not get at it. It was either in a place that I was afraid to poke at fearing that I would puncture some internal organ, or it was impossible to get to. I soon started using wooden skewers as a sort of home-made acupuncture needle.

Grounding, Becoming More Grounded
This was acupressure. I had never heard of it. I simply needed to solve my problem so I did what I could. The results were incredible. The body has lines of energy that can be distorted and interfered with by tension and energy blocks. These energy lines are called meridians. I didn’t know any of this until later. I just knew I was freeing myself from some serious old tension.

This was all due to meditation. Meditation had given me the confidence. I trusted myself much more. I was willing to dig in and explore. I soon overcame many of my fears of poking around. To this day, I poke behind my eyes, in my ears, anywhere there is tension and release it. If you decide to experiment just do so carefully. This release of tension led to an increased feeling of being grounded.

It was later that I learned about Acupuncture, Acupressure, Rolfing Massage, Yoga, and similar practices that aim to accomplish the same important release of energy blocks. I would now be challenged to navigate my way through similar tension-causing experiences without taking the tension on. This was quite an interesting challenge.

Continue with My Meditation Story, Part Eight