—An Interview with Adam Tebbe, Part One—
This two part meditation testimonial and interview features Adam Tebbe who shares his own introduction into a life of meditation practice. Tebbe is editor at Sweeping Zen, an online resource which has biographies and interviews with various Zen teachers throughout the world.
Meditation How: How did you get started with meditation? When did you begin meditating?
Tebbe: I began meditating on my own after reading some books on Buddhism, particularly The Compass of Zen by Zen master Seung Sahn. I’d went through a particularly tough breakup with a girlfriend at the time. This was around 2001 I guess. I was an angry young guy and the world centered around me – I deserved the breakup. It helped me grow. So, after I spent upwards of a year depressed and feeling sorry for myself, my sister sent me a copy of The Tao Te Ching (the Richard Wilhelm edition). I was drawn in from those opening lines:
“The Dao that can be expressed
is not the eternal Dao.
The name that can be named
is not the eternal name.”
I’d never encountered anything like that before. That is how my interest in Eastern ways, if we can call them that, began. Slowly I began to read more and more books and came to realize that Zen was where my heart belonged. I wasn’t prepared to sit with a group at this point, however.
So, aside from a couple visits to a local Dharma center and also the Indianapolis Zen Center later, my meditation practice was done at home. I remember reading online resources on how to construct an altar and I ordered a zafu and zabuton after I realized it kind of sucks sitting on pillows. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. That’s how it began.
Meditation How: In what way did you manage tough situations (the breakup, for example) before you found meditation?
Tebbe: Cigarettes. Marijuana. I didn’t manage tough situations well. It’s not like meditation is the be all, end all, mind you. It is and it isn’t. Sitting on a cushion doesn’t magically make one a better human being. That, at least in my case, takes work. Certainly it helps as a stabilizing force and allows me to process some of the stresses in my life in a more sobered way.
I think when I say meditation isn’t everything, I’m going off of a very limited, narrow definition of meditation. Most people think of seated meditation, right? In that way, meditation is effective but not all pervading. There are some who would probably disagree with me. I’ve just not found it to be so. Meditation is attending to, and caring for, my relationships. It means working through a litany of compulsions and shadows and, also, it means sitting on a cushion.
>>> Part Two: Meditation Interview with Adam Tebbe of Sweeping Zen